And everything is not going fine

     The Signs and Wonders movie that was shown on Thursday was a very depressing movie about a guy who had a really sad life. He led a life of failed relationships and seemed to hold a worldview that everything in the universe had no point, and therefore didn't matter.
     Have you ever met a person or seen a person in a movie who believed some really weird religious or philisophical ideas? That would be the guy who this movie was about (his name was Spalding Gray, by the way.) His mom was into the "Christian Science" religion, apparently. They both died by suicide, and I just felt depressed by that, because it seemed like they were searching for the truth by being involved in religions and stuff, but they never found truth; atleast, they never apparently got to know Jesus. I actually think Spalding was on the right track to truth when he talked about chaos. He seemed to believe that everything is just a bunch of chaos and accidents. He even referred to the birth of his children as accidents; like, he meant his children, and everyone who as ever been born, is just an amazing accident. There was no one to choose to create those children, there is no plan for anyone's life, we're all just a bunch of cosmic accidents who had a good chance of never having existed at all.
    Now, the reason I say that I think Spalding was on the right track is because, the world IS in chaos, because of sin. The world doesn't make sense. Like C.S. Lewis said in Mere Christianity (and I'll try to summarize this the way I remember it, but I don't have the book in front of me), people are always trying to be "good", and they all believe that there is such a thing as "good", which is a very strange thing to believe because nobody ever manages to always be good, even though we think it's such a good thing to be good. Spalding realized that the world didn't make sense and was messed up. He just could never figure out why.And I think the saddest thing was Spalding Gray near the end, when he seemed to give up hope. I think he gave up because he either realized he'd never found the complete truth of what the world and people and the universe was all about, and he thought he'd never figure out the complete truth, or he figured that the world was a chaotic accident, and that's just the way it was, and it wasn't worth existing in it anymore, because nothing mattered.